I get my best thoughts while I'm in the bathroom. This one came to me while I was slathering soap on my face.
Sri Lanka needs a workable paradigm for its political situation. I have developed one. The US has a spectrum, I have argued that India has a triangle. However, we must start also looking at completely different realms of objects (I have started, at least) than geometric figures to work with the tricky sticky politics of nations. For example, Afghanistan has burzkhashi (I can never spell that word; it's a kind of horseback rugby with extra goat/calf carcass), and Pakistan has a sort of 'capture-the-flag' game. Sri Lanka also has a sports paradigm: league baseball.
No, we're not going to see Chandi spitting tobacco chew on the ground, or that new Buddhist-baldy party getting busted for steroids. They're not going to take away Karuna's cork bat or catch Balasingam and Rauf Hakeem in a match-fixing scheme while Pottu Amman laughs all the way to the bank. (Okay, this is going a little overboard. Anyways, we should all be scared if Pottu Amman is laughing.)
I'm talking about a league paradigm. Think about it. There's the Sinhala League and the Tamil League. (There is no Muslim League any more, since it broke up when Jinnah and Liaquat died. Like, duh.) Even though everyone's eyes are on the World Series, most of the day-to-day games happen within the league. See, that's the problem with national politics right now. There's so many teams trying to play at the same time on the same diamond that everybody just ends up hitting eachother with bats and the spectators just get lumps on their heads and black eyes (though somebody will, of course, catch the home run ball and sell it on eBay. 'One Third-World country. Great location, great amenities. A political handyman's dream.').
What was I talking about? Oh yeah. The All-Ceylon Series coming up in a day or two. So you've got the Tamil league which suddenly has a new team that needs some anger management therapy, the Grand Old Padai (minus one colonel and his knights errant), and some other little league teams that are just kidding themselves or have been traded to the Sinhala league (the pay's probably better over there). Of course, the Grand Old Padai was probably counting on an easy win and getting a little overconfident, and now that its mitosis seems complete (aww..they're a daughter cell..), methinks there's going to be a lot of nail biting in Thenakam over the next 24 hours.
(It's actually a case of We've Been Here Before, if you ask me. Pirabakaran is probably kicking himself over that whole Uma Maheswaran thing right now. You know what they say about modes of living and swords and all. Hey, if those two are going to be Good Tamil Kings, they're going to need to settle their differences spear to spear! This naadu ain't big enough for the two of us!)
Again, I've strayed from the topic at hand. Leagues. Then there's the Sinhala league, with the New and Improved PA (I forget what they're calling themselves now) and the Oldie but Goodie UNP. When my mother and I were sitting in the hospital waiting room, she found the Best Picture Ever of Chandrika and Ranil. They're sitting next to each other and Ranil's got this 'ewww, Bandaranaike/Ratwatte/Kumaratunga cooties!' look on his face and our dear Lady Dictator (remember, she's the one with the defence portfolios hidden in her sock drawer) has her hand up as if chopping down her nose in that weird way that she does (you know what I'm talking about) and looking as deranged as ever. Honestly, even if she were my Rainbow and Unicorn Painting 101 teacher, I'd be scared of her. She reminds me of a robot (the bad kind that Seanbaby of The Wave is always warning us against). I bet they put lasers and/or death rays in her left eye after The Incident.
And then, in the league, are those monk guys. Honestly, I think that the Buddha would biznatch-slap them if he were here. I mean, dude. Come on. And they were campaigning in Jaffna. (snicker) Shouldn't they be begging or something?
The SLMC? Wild card! One never knows where the ulema is going to end up in Sri Lanka. Sometimes here, sometimes there..They can play in either league, really, so nobody ever knows.
So how about this -- rather than a two 'party' system, Sri Lanka has a two 'league' system. But who will win the World Series? Hmmm.. (It could be a sad day in Mudville, so be careful.)
Jeez, I wonder if he knows what they say about him. I mean, he thinks they're awful but they love him. (On the same side, I wonder what they think he thinks about them?) It's all so funny. Of course, I didn't even know what he thought about them until this afternoon, and I didn't even know anything about it until we were in a moving car, sectioned off from the rest of the world. So who knows? Vos ken men ton?
Un mer? Zey hobn geredt vegn im, as men hot im lib, un as es is take a 'tense situation' inem mizrekh. Es zet oys as es vert a 'disaster waiting to happen'. S'iz vild faremd trakhtn as der soldat vil geyn aroys fun undzer bavegung. Far vos? Un far vos itst?
Ikh hob im gehat lib. Er is zayer a sheyner, un a kluger. Vey un vind! Far vos is er aza a shlekhter? Fun vemen nemt er zayn gelt? Avade funem dorem!
Unfarshemt is er.
(I think I'm done ranting)